Applied Mathematics
Posted by smileme on February 7, 2007
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.”
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
frieda said
interesting post
most of the stuff about women can be true, but if you really look around it can be true for men too…specially this one:
woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
or
A woman has the last word in any argument. (not true with my husband !!! but I love too much not to let him have the last word)…
kamangir said
Fantastic!
smileme said
Frieda
Yes, you are right, most of them are very true about some men.
Anyway in our family I am sure that my wife is the one who always says the last word!
smileme said
Thank you Kamangir. I am really enjoying your weblog. I try to keep my weblog unrelated to the politics, although it is extremely difficult for an Iranian to do so
saye said
perfect. good job!